Father

There is a man in my life and although he is not large in stature, he is a giant to me.
When I was unsure of him, he gave me time.
When I was confused, he smiled with understanding.
When I was rebellious, he gave me room to grow
When I called out for help, his willing hand remained close by.
When I was burdened, he took responsibility
When I was doubted, he gave me trust
When I falied at my endeavors, he believed in me still
When I was afraid , he held my hand
When I lonely and sick, he sat with me
When I needed it most, he gave me his love.

Ther is a man in my life and though our blood is not the same,
He is a Father to me.

Daddy ( Things I Meant to Say)

Things I Meant to Say 

Caught between dirty laundry and work schedules,
a tightness grabs my throat 
When the day lasts too long or the night too black

silent fear creeps in dreams
Three weeks turns to six months and then 30 years.

A stranger with a one-sided smile walks by 

a flash of dread -goosebumps

Photos of happy picnics or easy tubing down a river,

Did we actually  laugh?
Tastes of speckled perch, frog legs  and hush puppies 

Did it really taste so good?
Gulf Coast sunsets and my small hand reaches for your calluses

Did I reach or was it just to comfort your guilt.

A dewy dawn in a boat on a still fishcamp morning 

Daybreak, you and I alone on a lake without a shore .

Hot sticky air and sentenced worms in a box.  
The picnics, gone and no fishing mornings come searching to

change diapers or hang out the clothes.

I am content. 

Once I was a 12 year old girl,balancing hope and terror

No welcome mat.

Now I am an adult caught in the rituals of days

I avoid drifting in unfettered boats or PB&J on blankets

but my childhood festers, questioning

Were you ever even there ?